Could we soon be witnessing the death of the Superstar DJ? This might seem unlikely – after all, don’t the likes of David Guetta play to millions, while Calvin Harris tops the rich list, raking in £30m per year?
Yes, but a dark shadow hovers, vulture-like, over the decks. Simon Cowell has targeted dance music, and specifically, DJing, as the next competition to roll off his production line.
Removing tongue from cheek, it must be said that dance music is very big business. No longer do raves take place illegally in fields and warehouses, signposted by texts or muttered directions and pursued by the local constabulary. Nowadays, household names are sponsored by household names to play stadiums and arenas. In fact, dance has gone from underground to establishment – even schools in England and Wales include scratching and mixing as part of the GSCE music course – which is ironic given that many DJ sets involve no more effort than pressing ‘Play’ on an iPod.
Anyway, SyCo’s interest makes it clear that money is still to be made from EDM (Electronic Dance Music – that’s for Simon’s benefit), and with X Factor a failing format – canned in the USA, and (please God) the UK not far behind – it leaves Cowell’s end-of-the-pier debacle Britain’s Got Talent as his one remaining chance of keeping the wolf from the door.
The mechanics of distilling Ultimate DJ into the format of Saturday night TV are still unclear, however. The process starts online, partnering with Yahoo (itself desperate to compete with the big internet players) so we assume voters will initially listen to a mix and whittle down the early runners. But translating dance to a visual spectacle? We’re not talking ‘Strictly’ here – clubbing is all about the experience of being there – the ‘atmosphere’, the ‘vibe’. Fatboy Slim has already revealed that he turned down the chance to judge because he thought it was a “terrible idea”, telling website Digital Spy that distilling two hours into five minutes will be, well, tricky. “It’s not like you can go out there and sing your latest song,” the former Housemartin points out.
As for the X Factor maxim of image over talent, Cowell should take heed of top producers Gorgon City – “When we play, it’s all about the music. We want to be a silhouette in the dark.” David Guetta gets away with audience interaction that amounts to a few hand gestures, but that’s precisely because he IS David Guetta, and in front of his own crowd to boot.
A superstar DJ, in fact.
However, for those of us in TV land, this could end up being quite interesting viewing. We’re well used to freak-pointing at the uncool and socially awkward when they show up on Britain’s Got Talent and X Factor and oblige us by making fools of themselves. This time round it might be that the real hapless outsiders are the ones running the show.
Which might make for prime time viewing after all – let’s be honest, who doesn’t enjoy a bit of car crash telly?

Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin
The High Country
(Polyvinyl)
As their name confesses, this Missouri guitar pop act seem quite happy living in the past. Opener ‘Lie On You’ shows a decided liking for the
harmonised pop of Weezer, while ‘Step Brother City’s jangly Strokes-y guitar bears out this theory. Meanwhile, ‘Foreign Future’ could be a Breeders
out-take. And we should draw a veil over more blatant, though less hipster lifts from Nick Lowe and Manfred Mann.
Improbably, the band played in Moscow a mere three months after Yeltsin’s death, suggesting more enlightened times than the 1980s (or now come to that).
However, there’s plenty in these eleven, sub-three-minute pop gems to encourage your average indie music fan to break out the vodka and dance. HHHH

(This piece originally appeared in the Burnley Express)